calling all weirdos
hey you. thanks for clicking on this.
so here we are i guess. here i am.
i’m really excited to have this space finally. i’ve put off creating it for so long. and it’s weird. as soon as i really sat down to do it, i could feel about 500 ideas come rushing out of me all at once.
creativity is funny like that.
you think, “man, i’m stuck. i can’t do it. no one will give a fuck.” mixed with a million “what if????” disaster scenarios clanging around in your brain. then as soon as you start, you realize how much time you wasted mentally pacing.
what a drag.
i think i finally just got to a point with myself where i’m tired of making excuses. frankly, i’m bored of hearing myself say i can’t do something. it takes a lot of energy to keep myself down like that. i don’t want to waste my time complaining about all of the reasons why things might not work out. that mindset just isn’t good enough in the year of our lord (Satan) 2024. i don’t even care anymore if it doesn’t all “work out” because who defines that other than me? who gets to tell me that this wasn’t worth it, or that it doesn’t matter?
this is the year that i truly say “fuck it” and throw my hands up. i have stopped caring about what everyone thinks of me.
what a fucking relief.
the thing is, i’m much different now than the person that i used to be, or at least the person that i became. i think we all start out one way and then life has a way of kicking you in the shins. becoming someone you don’t recognize is sadly easier than you might think. it doesn’t happen overnight. but i’m not here to give a lecture about capitalism or trauma just yet. i’m not a therapist. i’m just another mystic weirdo on the internet making a blog and typing into the void.
i guess i should tell you about myself. i think it’s important to share. i want you know a bit about the person you’re buying a reading from. i want you to want me to do your reading. i’m no longer interested in engaging with people anymore who aren’t gonna vibe with me, ya know? been there, done that.
i’m 31 now.
the last, i would say, 10-12 years of my life have been really fucking hard. there was some hard stuff before then, too. but.. i think i really started to lose who i was when i turned 21. after a string of toxic relationships, fake friends, and family issues i just really believed that i didn’t matter; that it wasn’t safe to dream, or to be who i was because that didn’t feel “enough.” whatever that means. mix all of that with a corporate career i was not happy in for 7-8 years and you have the perfect recipe for one extremely lonely, disconnected human.
so why am i telling you this? and what the hell does it have to do with tarot readings?
honestly, everything.
simply put, i’m less lonely now. i’m less disconnected. i finally feel like myself again. tarot, and my spiritual practice were some of the main tools that got me here. without them, i absolutely, 100% would not be in the healthier place that i’m in now.
the road to peace has been a LONG one. it’s been destructive, painful, awkward, frustrating, and amazing. it’s been the best journey i’ve ever taken.
it’s weird to just say “i’m grateful life was so hard and shitty for so long” but i AM grateful that i have experienced what it was like to lose myself, and have to pick up the pieces on my own. the strength and wisdom i’ve earned from that is something that no one can take away from me.
the thing is, when you find the will inside of yourself to change your life on your own terms for the better, you start to trust yourself. and little by little, everything starts to click into place.
i won’t say i’m 100% better and that i’m a perfect little angel with all of the answers because 1. that would be ridiculous and 2. i’m just a person.
but i know what it’s like to be lost and have to learn how to see through the dark.
i’m here because i’d like to help you find your light, too.
that’s something that matters.
cheers to healing.
-olive
